Ooopps... So, You Forgot Secretaries' Day?


Phone messages are delivered on the end of a spear.

Your file cabinet's top drawer is full of half-empty whiskey bottles.

Purchasing wants to know why you need a waterbed for your office.

The FBI is checking your computer for "kiddie porn."

Your company car is now a Gremlin.

Your important dictation is somehow typed as "blah...   blah...   blah..."

An "I am a slave-driving cheapskate" sign appears on your office door.

Your job suddenly appears on the vacancy listing.


 
 
Shredded Whitewater documents turn up in your wastebasket.

You hear her answer the phone, "Smith, Jones and Tight-ass."

A suggestion you don't recall submitting for a "siesta hour" is rejected.

Oprah invites you to appear on her "I'm A Self-Centered Pig" episode.

Your computer's mouse has been replaced by a shock device.

Two super-stars-to-be stop by your office to say they're sorry to hear you're leaving.

Expense report you don't recall submitting comes back with denied charges for "beer & hookers."


 
 
Upon arriving home, your wife wants to know why your secretary hasn't seen you for 3 days.

You notice an announcement for your upcoming retirement party on the bulletin board.

A copy of the bestseller "So, Your Head's Up Your Ass, Now What ?" suddenly appears on your desk.

In the elevator, the CEO says, "I hope you'll have time to meet me tomorrow after your golf game."

Accounting is demanding to know why you have a $1,110 phone bill on your private line for the month.

The cold coffee's not that bad, but the staples at the bottom of the cup are rather bothersome.

Your parking spot has been relocated next to the hazardous waste disposal area.

 Your big business dinner with out-of-town clients is scheduled for Billy Bob's 24-Hour Truck Stop.


 
 
You notice seven pieces of mail in the "out box" with "addressee unknown" stamped on them.

Your NY-to-Miami trip involves six plane changes and a 12-hour layover in Guam.

Three guys slap you on the back and congratulate you on your affair with the boss' trophy wife.

Security calls to ask where you want your car towed for repairs.

An important confidential memo from your boss somehow appears on the cafeteria bulletin board.

The wine and cheese party you asked to have set up for an important client features limburger cheese.

When you get home from work your spouse asks "Exactly WHO is Sweet Muffins, 
the name on the card with the Joy of Sex book that was delivered today?"