|* A right lane construction closure is just a game to
see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you
in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
* Turn signals are clues as to your next move. A real Detroit driver never uses them.
* Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between
you and the car in front of you
* Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is considered "going with the flow."
* The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
* Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive body
* Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure
that your ABS kicks in giving a nice relaxing foot massage
* Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the last exit before the traffic begins to back up.
* The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there
to provide useful information.
* Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
* Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions & apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.
* Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed
up or move over doesn't mean that a Detroit driver
|* Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush hour traffic in Detroit.
* Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
* Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape,
keeps the existing litter from getting lonely,
* Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours
* Learn to swerve abruptly. Detroit is the home of high speed
driving thanks to MDOT (MI Dept of Transportation),
* It is traditional in Detroit to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
* Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
* Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
* Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reason to change any of
the previous listed rules.
* Remember that the goal of every Detroit driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
* Real Detroit women drivers can put on pantyhose and eye make-up
at 75 mile per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.